Right now I'm reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It's a really good book. I would recommend it to anyone who really wants to understand what it means to live a life full of joy and grace. I like it because it's so real. I relate so well. Just now, I was reading about giving thanks in the really hard moments, when a child dies, when a cancer is diagnosed, when confronted with the brokenness and pain of this world.

This is something I've been thinking so much about anyways and I was interested to see what she would say- if she would say, you just need to grateful for what you have and suck it up and accept. She didn't say that. I'm glad for that. But what she did talk about was how every day is a grace, every new day is a reason to wonder that we were given another day but even knowing that, she said that she still wants to say No- it's not enough, It's not enough that we get one more day, why can't we have an endless string of days and graces?? I just so appreciate that she said that because I've said that before too. But isn't that just selfish demanding ingratitude? She said "When I realize that it is not God who is in my debt but I who am in His great debt, then doesn't all become gifts?"

Yes. It is all a gift. Even the brokenness and ugliness. Somehow, I know that Jesus came to transform the dark ugly places and make them growing beauty. Somehow. I think I need to accept that this is a mystery. And be grateful.