I've been reading in Exodus lately. I'm trying to really ponder every passage- rather than just reading the words and thinking "Huh, that's nice". I'm thinking about this massive group of people who had never really heard from God- they maybe heard OF God but didn't hear from Him. And then suddenly, miraculously, God rescues them. Just takes them away from the captivity they have known. I think I've mentioned on here that I spent quite a long time thinking about why He waited so long to rescue them- why He let so many die without being rescued but I've concluded that I am NOT God. Big surprise right? ;) And I'm ok with saying that God is God, I don't understand His ways but I do trust that His ways are best.
So then I was reading about how the Israelites got hungry so naturally, they started remembering how "good" they had it in Egypt and how they just sat around eating meat all the time. I've done that a lot- God rescues me from some pattern of sin, some bad situation, and as soon as I feel slightly uncomfortable and scared, I think I was so much better off before God bothered me. Isn't that awful? What a sinful way for me to think. But then God in His incredible kindness always forgives, restores, AND provides. That's what the manna is. God's amazing kindness.
I'm in a season of deliverance right now and it's not super easy at times. There are long held patterns of sin and disbelief in my heart that I believe God is rooting out. It doesn't always feel great and some mornings, I think, life was a lot easier before I started thinking about all this, it was a lot easier when I could get out of bed and plan my day and execute the plan however I wanted. But then I remember that each day God will provide for me in a totally unexpected way. He will send me manna to sustain me if I look for it and gather it. Notice He didn't just fill the Israelites bellies, they still had to trust that what God provided was good and what they needed and then they had to get up and get their baskets and fill them with manna. If I just get out of bed and start my day and don't look for God's provision, it's foolish for me to think that I will be able to claim God's grace in my daily, minute by minute struggles.
This morning, there has been the usual kid-craziness. Kids fighting, wrestling, whining, not leaving me alone ever, not obeying. It's enough to make me feel like screaming that life was better when I wasn't trying to obey God. But I read in Exodus this morning how God provides and how His plan is good. And I read in Psalm 103 which I am currently memorizing that God redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion. So am I going to choose to trust that, to believe that God is able to crown me with love and compassion, that His love and compassion is able to flow through me onto these children who need to see His love alive in me? Or will I choose to not take in the manna God so kindly provided me this morning? It's all a choice- I can take in, chew and digest His goodness or I can choose to leave it on the ground.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
A Praying Life- chapters 1 and 2
Ok, I am finally going to start this discussion that I've wanted to have for a couple months now. I don't know if any friends out there did actually get this book but I guess if you didn't, you can still just listen in :) I would recommend getting it though and reading it and applying the truth found in it.
I have the discussion guide and I'm going to post some questions from the book with my answers and then if you want to post your own responses, feel free and we can just encourage each other in the Lord as we grow in a deeper relationship with Him.
Chapter 1
Paul writes of quiet cynicism, spiritual weariness and doubts that grow in us. Which of these do you relate most easily to? How do you see that?
In my life, I tend to get very weary. I feel like many times I've prayed for the same thing over and over and I don't see the answers and I just feel tired. I guess that falls under the category of cynicism too- wondering if my prayer really does matter
Why is it easier on our faith NOT to pray?
I think if I don't actually ever pray for anything, there is never the chance that I will be let down, that I will have to deal with a prayer that appears to be unanswered.
What is it about American culture that makes it particularly difficult for you to pray?
I think the lack of quiet and stillness. I feel like I need to be actually physically doing something all the time, because there is always more to do and I have to discipline myself to actually be quiet and sit before God.
I left out a couple questions but those were the main ones in chapter 1 that made me think through my current view of prayer- it's definitely changing but I think it was a good exercise for me to really admit the areas that I struggle in and my frequent weariness.
Chapter 2
How is prayer like having a good meal with friends?
Ideally, prayer should be a time of laughing, enjoying the company of a Friend, listening, relating the days experiences.... is it always for me? Um... no.
According to Revelations 3:20, what kind of relationship does God want with us? What does this tell us about what Jesus is like?
This really makes me think- here it says that Jesus wants to come in and eat with me if I just open the door. I think of the good times I've had with friends around my table and I want to feel that way when I talk to Jesus, you know? And the fact that He wants that with me sort of blows my mind.
Describe the differences between an isolated prayer life and a prayer-intertwined life.
An isolated prayer life is one where the moments in prayer are restricted to singular moments of the day, rather then every moment being a moment in which I am living before the face of God, in conversation with my Father. An intertwined life is one in which my prayers affect my moments and my moments affect my prayers- where every second of my life is submitted to the will of God and where I can freely discuss those moments with God, knowing that He cares deeply for the needs in my heart at any given moment. An isolated prayer life is a lonely hard life. I can't really imagine it, not talking to God as my day unfolds- so much changes from the moments when I first pray, before I open my eyes, to the moments as I drift to sleep. I wouldn't want to do all that alone. Prayer is a gift..
How is prayer a window into God's story for you?
I like to think about this- how all of my life is a drama that is unfolding, and the unanswered prayers create the tension and conflict that every good story needs- it makes me want to keep reading to see how it all works out. It's easier when I'm not actually living in the middle of it but it helps to think that this is not the end of the story....
How does prayer give birth to hope?
I'm just going to quote from the book here, because he says it so well and it makes sense to me- As we learn to pray well, we'll discover that this is my Father's world. Because my Father controls everything, I can ask, and he will listen and act. Since I am His child, change is possible and hope is born. Isn't that a blessed thought?!
How does a praying life affect a busy life?
This is my favorite question/thought here I think- I've thought about this a lot because sometimes my life is out of control busy with people and places and jobs.. So again, I'm going to quote the book If we love people and have the power to help, we are going to be busy. Learning to pray doesn't offer us a less busy life; it offers us a less busy heart. In the midst of outer busyness we can develop an inner quiet. Because we are less hectic on the inside, we have a capacity to love... and thus to be busy, which in turn drives us even more into a life of prayer.
I can totally attest to this truth. I have been really busy lots of times in my life, well, really, all the time, but the times when I am living in prayer and trusting God each minute are so peaceful and fulfilling. The times when I somehow forget that I need God are chaotic and ugly and cause me to become selfish and demanding of my own time. I can't love people without first loving and deeply knowing God. Once I do open my life to a real relationship with God, my days do tend to fill up but I don't resent that time at all because each moment is another part of the story that God is writing in my life and in the lives of those that my life touches. Does that make sense?
Ok, well, that's all for chapters 1 and 2. I would LOVE to hear some other thoughts! I have read this book but my life/heart is in a different place today than it was a few months ago so I am looking forward to reading through it again and really pondering it in depth. Sorry it took me so long to post this. I am really going to try to do at least one chapter a week!
I have the discussion guide and I'm going to post some questions from the book with my answers and then if you want to post your own responses, feel free and we can just encourage each other in the Lord as we grow in a deeper relationship with Him.
Chapter 1
Paul writes of quiet cynicism, spiritual weariness and doubts that grow in us. Which of these do you relate most easily to? How do you see that?
In my life, I tend to get very weary. I feel like many times I've prayed for the same thing over and over and I don't see the answers and I just feel tired. I guess that falls under the category of cynicism too- wondering if my prayer really does matter
Why is it easier on our faith NOT to pray?
I think if I don't actually ever pray for anything, there is never the chance that I will be let down, that I will have to deal with a prayer that appears to be unanswered.
What is it about American culture that makes it particularly difficult for you to pray?
I think the lack of quiet and stillness. I feel like I need to be actually physically doing something all the time, because there is always more to do and I have to discipline myself to actually be quiet and sit before God.
I left out a couple questions but those were the main ones in chapter 1 that made me think through my current view of prayer- it's definitely changing but I think it was a good exercise for me to really admit the areas that I struggle in and my frequent weariness.
Chapter 2
How is prayer like having a good meal with friends?
Ideally, prayer should be a time of laughing, enjoying the company of a Friend, listening, relating the days experiences.... is it always for me? Um... no.
According to Revelations 3:20, what kind of relationship does God want with us? What does this tell us about what Jesus is like?
This really makes me think- here it says that Jesus wants to come in and eat with me if I just open the door. I think of the good times I've had with friends around my table and I want to feel that way when I talk to Jesus, you know? And the fact that He wants that with me sort of blows my mind.
Describe the differences between an isolated prayer life and a prayer-intertwined life.
An isolated prayer life is one where the moments in prayer are restricted to singular moments of the day, rather then every moment being a moment in which I am living before the face of God, in conversation with my Father. An intertwined life is one in which my prayers affect my moments and my moments affect my prayers- where every second of my life is submitted to the will of God and where I can freely discuss those moments with God, knowing that He cares deeply for the needs in my heart at any given moment. An isolated prayer life is a lonely hard life. I can't really imagine it, not talking to God as my day unfolds- so much changes from the moments when I first pray, before I open my eyes, to the moments as I drift to sleep. I wouldn't want to do all that alone. Prayer is a gift..
How is prayer a window into God's story for you?
I like to think about this- how all of my life is a drama that is unfolding, and the unanswered prayers create the tension and conflict that every good story needs- it makes me want to keep reading to see how it all works out. It's easier when I'm not actually living in the middle of it but it helps to think that this is not the end of the story....
How does prayer give birth to hope?
I'm just going to quote from the book here, because he says it so well and it makes sense to me- As we learn to pray well, we'll discover that this is my Father's world. Because my Father controls everything, I can ask, and he will listen and act. Since I am His child, change is possible and hope is born. Isn't that a blessed thought?!
How does a praying life affect a busy life?
This is my favorite question/thought here I think- I've thought about this a lot because sometimes my life is out of control busy with people and places and jobs.. So again, I'm going to quote the book If we love people and have the power to help, we are going to be busy. Learning to pray doesn't offer us a less busy life; it offers us a less busy heart. In the midst of outer busyness we can develop an inner quiet. Because we are less hectic on the inside, we have a capacity to love... and thus to be busy, which in turn drives us even more into a life of prayer.
I can totally attest to this truth. I have been really busy lots of times in my life, well, really, all the time, but the times when I am living in prayer and trusting God each minute are so peaceful and fulfilling. The times when I somehow forget that I need God are chaotic and ugly and cause me to become selfish and demanding of my own time. I can't love people without first loving and deeply knowing God. Once I do open my life to a real relationship with God, my days do tend to fill up but I don't resent that time at all because each moment is another part of the story that God is writing in my life and in the lives of those that my life touches. Does that make sense?
Ok, well, that's all for chapters 1 and 2. I would LOVE to hear some other thoughts! I have read this book but my life/heart is in a different place today than it was a few months ago so I am looking forward to reading through it again and really pondering it in depth. Sorry it took me so long to post this. I am really going to try to do at least one chapter a week!
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