Manna

I've been reading in Exodus lately. I'm trying to really ponder every passage- rather than just reading the words and thinking "Huh, that's nice". I'm thinking about this massive group of people who had never really heard from God- they maybe heard OF God but didn't hear from Him. And then suddenly, miraculously, God rescues them. Just takes them away from the captivity they have known. I think I've mentioned on here that I spent quite a long time thinking about why He waited so long to rescue them- why He let so many die without being rescued but I've concluded that I am NOT God. Big surprise right? ;) And I'm ok with saying that God is God, I don't understand His ways but I do trust that His ways are best.

So then I was reading about how the Israelites got hungry so naturally, they started remembering how "good" they had it in Egypt and how they just sat around eating meat all the time. I've done that a lot- God rescues me from some pattern of sin, some bad situation, and as soon as I feel slightly uncomfortable and scared, I think I was so much better off before God bothered me. Isn't that awful? What a sinful way for me to think. But then God in His incredible kindness always forgives, restores, AND provides. That's what the manna is. God's amazing kindness.

I'm in a season of deliverance right now and it's not super easy at times. There are long held patterns of sin and disbelief in my heart that I believe God is rooting out. It doesn't always feel great and some mornings, I think, life was a lot easier before I started thinking about all this, it was a lot easier when I could get out of bed and plan my day and execute the plan however I wanted. But then I remember that each day God will provide for me in a totally unexpected way. He will send me manna to sustain me if I look for it and gather it. Notice He didn't just fill the Israelites bellies, they still had to trust that what God provided was good and what they needed and then they had to get up and get their baskets and fill them with manna. If I just get out of bed and start my day and don't look for God's provision, it's foolish for me to think that I will be able to claim God's grace in my daily, minute by minute struggles.

This morning, there has been the usual kid-craziness. Kids fighting, wrestling, whining, not leaving me alone ever, not obeying. It's enough to make me feel like screaming that life was better when I wasn't trying to obey God. But I read in Exodus this morning how God provides and how His plan is good. And I read in Psalm 103 which I am currently memorizing that God redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion. So am I going to choose to trust that, to believe that God is able to crown me with love and compassion, that His love and compassion is able to flow through me onto these children who need to see His love alive in me? Or will I choose to not take in the manna God so kindly provided me this morning? It's all a choice- I can take in, chew and digest His goodness or I can choose to leave it on the ground.