My citizenship

I just briefly had the TV on while I was doing dishes. We only get about 5 channels so I don't watch TV that often, anyways, I was watching the news, which was kind of dumb (the news was, they seemed to have nothing to say about anything) and then there was a commercial break and the entire break was just commercials of politicians saying why their opponent is terrible and they are wonderful. It kind of baffled me. It was actually only 2 guys going back and forth bashing each other in a series of about 8 commercials. I thought- They are sure spending a lot of money and emotional energy on this and the reality is, one of them will lose. It just seems kind of a silly use of time and money- but really, I do believe in the American system of politics, more or less so I'm not saying anything negative about democracy. I just think it's kind of ridiculous to spend so much to talk bad about someone else.

I actually do have a point- I'm just taking a while to get to it- anyways, I started thinking about how I'm not a citizen of this world- how my true citizenship is in Heaven. Sometimes I just want to think about that. I want to just forget all of this and think about how in Heaven, it will all be made right. I feel like when it says the Lord will descend with a trumpet and a loud cry, He will say "ENOUGH!!!!" It's such a mess here on earth, you know? I wish I wasn't a part of the mess.

That's the other thing I was thinking about- how I'm just really not worthy of Heaven. Today alone, I've been selfish, easily angered, unkind, dishonest, prideful. Yuk. I wonder what God's purpose is in keeping me here. It seems like once we accept Him, we should just get to go to Heaven so we don't mess up God's image. I'm sure that the hope is that I will make good choices and reflect Jesus to those who don't know Him but the truth is, I may reflect Him 1 out of 100 times and the rest of the time, I'm reflecting the world around me. I'm so thankful that He even bothers with me. I do know that He is changing my heart, little by little, as I let go of all the trifles I'm hanging on to.

I'd like to think that I will someday be a great woman of God- along the lines of Elisabeth Elliot, Ruth Graham, one of those ladies... but someone recently said to me that all the great men and women of God spent most of their lives just doing the mundane things of life, paying bills, doing dishes, raising children. The difference is that I think they were willing to be used by God and not hanging on to anything of this world. I want my days to be a song of praise to my Father, not just a list of trivial tasks done in a mediocre way. I pray that tomorrow, I will be a little more worthy of Heaven and fit in less here on earth.